Helen Keller jokes

Did you hear that new Helen Keller joke? Don’t worry, neither did she.
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Did you hear the joke about helen keller? neither did she. Did you see that one coming? neither did she.
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Did you know Helen Keller had a dog? Neither did she
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Did you know that Helen Keller had a dollhouse in the backyard? Neither did she.
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Have you heard of the new Helen Keller doll? Wind it up and it walks into walls
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Have you seen a picture of Helen Kellers dad? Neither has she!
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Helen Keller walked into a bar. And a chair, And a table, And a wall.
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Helen Keller was truly an inspiration, She was able to learn how to read and write despite being from Alabama
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Hellen keller picked up a cheese grater, it was the most violent story she’d ever read.
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How about the three panelists on To Tell The Truth?
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How can you tell if Helen Keller has brushed her teeth? By the Gleam in her eye.
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How come Helen Keller cant have kids? Because shes dead!
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How come Helen Keller didnt scream when she fell off the cliff? She was wearing mittens
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How did Helen Keller become blind and deaf? She was a PC and got a virus
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How did Helen Keller break her arm while in the car? Trying to read a stop sign going 80
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How did Helen Keller burn her ear off? Answering the iron!
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How did Helen Keller burn her fingers? Reading the waffle iron
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How did Helen Keller burn her hands? She was trying to read a waffle iron
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How did Helen Keller burn the other side of her face? They called back
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How did Helen Keller burn the side of her face? She answered the iron
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How did Helen Keller drive a car? Easy. She used one hand to steer the wheel and the other to see the road.
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How did Helen Keller drive herself crazy? Trying to read a stucco wall
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How did Helen Keller learn to play with herself? Trying to read her own lips.
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How did Helen Keller meet her husband? A blind date.
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How did Helen Keller pick her eyes out? She shouted hysterically
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How did Helen Keller pierce her ear? Answering the stapler
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How did Helen keller’s mom punish her? She put her in a circular room and told her to find the corner.
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How did Helen Keller’s parents punish her as a child? They moved the furniture around and did not announce it.
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How did Helen Keller’s parents punish her? Put her in a circle room and told her to find the penny in the corner
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How did Helen Keller’s parents punish her? They put her in a circular room and told her to find the corner.
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How did helen kellers parents punish her? By rearranging the furniture
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How did Helen Kellers parents punish her? By walking on her Braille books with golf shoes.
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How did Helen Kellers parents punish her? They stuck a plunger in the toilet.
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How did Helen Kellers teachers punish her for talking in class? They made her wear mittens
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How did Hellen Keller’s parents punish her? They handed her a basketball as told her to read this book.
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How did she burn the other one off? They called back!
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How do you confuse Helen Keller? You rearrange the furniture and glue doorknobs to the walls.
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How do you get Helen Keller to keep a secret? Break her fingers
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How do you make sure Helen Keller will keep a secret? You break her fingers.
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How do you mess with Helen Keller? Give her a basketball and tell her to read it
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How do You punish helen keller. - You leave the plunger in the toilet.
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How do you tell Helen Keller a joke? Not this way.
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How do you tell if Helen Keller is alive? If you hear something fall down the stairs
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How does Helen Keller drive? One hand on the wheel and one hand on the road!
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How many kids did Helen Keller have? NONE! The plunger went all the way through!
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I may be blind, but I can see why children like the taste of Cinnamon Toast Crunch.
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If Helen Keller fell down in the woods, would she make a sound?
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If Helen Keller were psychic, would she call it a fourth sense?
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Remember the Helen Keller doll? Youd wind her up and watch her walk into walls.
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The day she burned her mouth, and couldn’t taste anything, either.
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What did Helen Keller do when she fell down the well? She screamed and screamed until her hands turned blue
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What did Helen Keller get for Christmas? Polio! she had everything else.
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What did Helen Keller name her dog? Nymphdrumpherlmf.
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What did Helen Keller say to the shop assistant when she knocked over a product-display in the store? Just looking!
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What did Helen Keller scream when she fell off the mountain? Nothing, she was wearing mittens.
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What did Helen Kellers parents do to punish her for swearing? Washed her hands with soap.
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What did Helen Kellers room look like? She didnt know either
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What did Hellen Keller do when she fell in a hole. - She screamed until her hands got tired.
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What do you call a tennis match between Helen Keller and Stevie Wonder? Endless love
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What do you call Stevie Wonder and Helen Keller playing tennis? Eternal love.
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What is Helen Kellers favorite Convenience Store? WAAAWAAA
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What is Helen Kellers favorite mouthwash? Jergens lotion.
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what part of the Earth does Helen Keller not have? - The sea
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What was Helen Kellers favorite candy? Skittles. Can’t see the rainbow, but at least she can taste it.
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What was Helen Kellers favorite childhood game? Musical Chairs
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What was the worst day in Helen Kellers life? The day she burned her mouth, and couldnt taste anything, either.
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Whats Helen Kellers excuse every time she loses a competition? She couldnt see
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Whats the name of Helen Kellers favorite book? Around the Block in 80 Days
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Whats this (slowly waving fingers)? Helen Keller moaning
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Where do Helen Kellers parents have her go when theres company over? Disneyworld
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Why couldn’t Helen Keller drive a car? Because she was a woman.
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Why couldn’t Helen Keller eat her Big Mac? - She was too busy trying to read the sesame seeds.
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Why couldnt Helen Keller play on her high school football team? Because shes a girl
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Why did Helen Keller burn her hands? Because she was trying to read the waffle iron.
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Why did Helen Keller cross the road? What, like she knows where shes going!
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Why did Helen Keller have yellow fingers? From whispering sweet-nothings in her boyfriends ear
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Why did helen keller wear skin tight pants? so you could read her lips
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Why did Helen Kellers dog kill itself? You would too if your name was sajifjlsisdjifiuopoo
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Why did Helen Kellers dog run away, you’d run too if your name was dgergbbfdnbj
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Why did Helen Kellers last relationship not work? Her boyfriend complained about how she never listened to his problems.
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Why didn’t Helen Keller change her baby’s diaper? So she could always find him
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Why does Helen Keller have holes in her face? She tried eating with a fork.
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Why does Helen Keller use one hand to play the piano? So that she can sing with her other hand.
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Why does Helen Keller wear skin tight pants? So you can read her lips!
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Why does Helen Keller wear tight pants? So you can read her lips
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Why is all of Helen Kellers face burnt? She was bobbing for French fries
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Why is Helen Kellers child blind too? She always fed it with a fork!
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Why is it okay to tell Helen Keller jokes? Because she cant hear them anyway!
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Why was Helen Keller late for school? DUI
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Why was Helen Keller’s leg wet? Her dog was blind too.
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With one hand on the wheel, and one hand on the road.
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You guys ever hear that joke about Helen Keller’s dad? Neither did she
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